Empress Adirn 6: Delegation
Sweat beaded on Adirn’s forehead and made her palms slick. Air seemed incapable of escaping her dress’ neckline, instead circulating and boiling underneath the black velvet until she began to cook. Standing with the sun on her back wasn’t helping matters, in all likelihood, but she got the impression that the bulk of the heat was coming from within.
“What are you doing getting this worked up over a diplomatic envoy? You’re the empress, meeting foreign dignitaries is rather a major part of your remit.” Katherine said, offering a bounty of disapproval.
“It’s the first time, and I’ve just been hearing from you about the many innovative and despicable things my predecessors did to this envoy’s ancestors.” The empress explained.
“Pah. You might be nervous about it but they won’t be, so unless you want to spend this whole affair at a disadvantage I’d advise you to get a grip.”
“They’ve had plenty of revenge from all the invasions, your eminence. Those despicable things of which you speak have been paid back many times over with the justice of the sword.” Captain Toxis added.
“Knowledge of previous military interventions doesn’t exactly set my mind at rest. But you’re right, I need to compose myself.” Adirn smoothed down the front of her dress, as if that was even close to being the most obviously unprepared thing about her. “Should I be sitting for when this delegation arrives? No, I feel like standing is probably right. Greet them as equals and then we all take a seat together. Sitting down when they come in would look like a power play or a sign of disrespect.”
“Or like you’d been walking up and down God-Gouger tower and needed a sit down.” Captain Toxis offered. Adirn waved a dismissive hand at the notion.
“Do we shake hands, or are they cheek-kissers, or a salute of some sort?”
Kathrine audibly rolled her eyes around the dry and shrivelled sockets in her head.
“Oh gods, they’re going to have to march all the way up that bloody corridor towards me as well.” Adirn continued, looking down the extensive hallway that led to her door-free office. “I think the standing or sitting power play is irrelevant compared to the long-hall insult. We need to meet with them somewhere else.”
With a startled frown at the presumption that she would be going anywhere, Katherine watched the young empress walk hurriedly out from behind her enormous desk and almost break into a jog down the corridor. Dutifully Captain Toxis followed behind, keeping pace whilst still looking as if the act of walking could barely have been more casual. Softly the Mistress of Records gave an irritable huff, and then she started gathering the hems of her many skirts in preparation to stand. The empress was lucky she’d tortured someone only yesterday, otherwise she wouldn’t be getting such special treatment as this.
“Do you think there’ll be a lot of them here? Will they be armed? Should I be armed?” Worried Adirn. A whole labyrinth of customs and protocol started to unravel itself in her mind. Every thought turned her into another twisting passageway potential unwitting slights or cultural insults.
“They always bring an honour guard, your eminence, but a team of my own palace guards will be following the delegation at all times. It is standard protocol for us whenever delegations from the Alliance are present.”
“At a discreet distance, I hope?”
“Their discretion won’t be any less than normal.” Replied the captain. It didn’t give Adirn the strong ‘yes’ for which she’d been hoping, but there was no time to worry about that.
“What do you know about the proper protocol for these meetings? Is it a formal state visit or are they just coming to deliver this month’s bill for reparations?” Adirn asked breathlessly.
Captain Toxis shrugged as he walked behind. A few moments later, he appreciated the folly of the action.
“I do not know of these things, eminence. This is more the realm of the nobles than the guards.”
Adirn reached the end of the corridor, where it formed a T with another hallway, and then turned back to face her captain of the guard.
“Bah. Knowing them they’ll say it’s about planning the best time for a thirteenth identical surprise attack on the two-year anniversary of the twelfth.”
“I shouldn’t think that would be terribly surprising!” Chuckled a soft, warm voice from behind Adirn.
Leaping into the air, she twisted to face a tall, lean man standing at ease with his hands clasped at his abdomen. Forming a small arrowhead formation behind him was a group of other strangers, all looking at the empress with expectant curiosity. Raggedly dashing around the edge of the cluster of visitors was a disturbingly sweaty Lawrence.
“Your eminence…” he said, holding one hand in the air to signal that he would be continuing shortly after a panting break. “… please allow me... to introduce…. Elucidator Prudence Heartswarmth of the White Alliance… and his diplomatic attaché.”
Looking at her guests, Adirn could barely comprehend how their two empires could have been any more different. Where every aspect of life in the Onyx Empire was defined by darkness and shadows, everything about this slice of the White Alliance was created of pure light and irradiance. Whether they had a better grade of launderer in the Alliance or it was just contrast with the deep matte blacks of the corridor panelling, the crisp and white doublets, dresses and robes of the White Alliance’s delegation seemed to glow. Maybe it was just the faint illuminance tricking her, but the empress saw that each one of the delegates wore a bright smile beneath kind eyes, and she felt any fear of beheading melt away.
“An honour to become acquainted with you, your diabolical eminence.” Said the elucidator with a short, reverential bow. The neatly combed blonde hair atop his head remained pristine as he arose again, and he smiled with enough politeness for a hundred ambassadorial banquets. Elegantly tailored but understated, his shimmering-white doublet and shirt clung to what little frame Heartswarmth had and screamed that he was here with all the respect a person could muster.
“Elucidator Heartswarmth… her Imperial Diabolical Eminence, Empress Adirn Deepgrave the Denier, first of her name.” Lawrence introduced, before leaning backwards against the wall and gulping thirstily for air. Adirn cringed at the title he’d chosen to give her.
“A pleasure to welcome you, Eludicator Heartswarmth.” Adirn said, with the first attempt at a curtsey she’d made in many years. If she’d been forced to rate her performance, perhaps by a roving etiquette instructor or Katherine, she would have given herself no higher than a five out of ten.
“Thank you, your diabolical eminence. The imperial palace is just as infernal as I remembered it and a true testament to the history and cultural choices of the Onyx Empire.” He smiled. Adirn was trying to work out whether that made her angry or not when the elucidator continued. “I am joined, of course, by Illuminators Rachael Verity, Bliss Luminance, Bloom Summers, and Joy Honourborn.”
One by one, in time with their names being called, the Illuminators gave Adirn a deep and respectful bow. Each movement was immaculately controlled and rehearsed, so much so that the empress wondered if they were in fact performing a very slow and silent dance rather than saying hello. After a short but intense period in the company of conniving nobility, terrified servant staff and brazen dissenters in the Onyx Empire, the honest openness of the Illuminators felt like the first salty breath of air after nearly drowning. Despite the long, curved blades that hung from their hips and the carefully shaped armour plating concealed beneath their robes, everything about them made the empress wish to let her guard down. It would have filled her with joy just to bask in their brightness, brushing over her face as the first touch of sunlight when the shutters were thrown open on a summer morning.
Before Adirn could fall completely under the Illuminators’ spell, however, an irritable cough rang from the hallway to signal Katherine’s approach. Suddenly the curtains were drawn, Adirn’s mind was plunged back into shadow, and there was no forgetting the indomitable darkness of the Onyx Empire.
“A privilege to receive you all as guests.” Adirn said, making phrases up on the spot and hoping that they sounded half-way correct. “You have met my houseman Lawrence already. I mean, that’s obvious, of course you have. He showed you up here.” The words started to cling to the inside of the empress’ throat, making her want to spit them out even faster. “But… er… this is Captain Keto Toxis, the captain of my palace guard, and joining us along the hallway is the Mistress of Records, Katherine.”
“I have had the pleasure of meeting with Mistress of Records Katherine before, but I believe this is the first time you and I have come to face one another, Captain Toxis. Greetings.” Said Elucidator Heartswarmth. Adirn frowned slightly in disbelief; if anyone had met Katherine before then there was no way they’d describe that experience as a pleasure, but the Elucidator gave the impression that he couldn’t possibly tell a lie.
“Good day, sir.” Keto replied, with a curt nod.
“I must congratulate you on your aptitude, Captain. It has been something I’ve wished to say to you for many years.”
There was clattering of steel in the hallway behind the delegation which drew Adirn’s attention as the Elucidator and the captain spoke. Staring between the heads of Illuminators Verity and Luminance, the empress nearly choked on her own throat when she saw the ‘discreet’ detachment of palace guards providing supervision.
It wasn’t a problem that an unnecessarily large number of guards had appeared per se, because the implicit statement of distrust was unchanged whether there were four or four hundred swords pointed at the delegation. Standing with weapons ready was rather on the heavy-handed and impolite side, but again the empress could live with it. The really pressingly embarrassing concern, the one that made Adirn want to either curl up and disappear or reach out and strangle every guard she could see, was their unique interpretation of what it meant to be stealthy.
The more accomplished of the palace guards, and that term was very much a relative one, had stood themselves behind the busts and statuettes of rulers that lined the corridor. Their efforts to line themselves up perfectly with the poses adopted by the sculptures were laudable, but given that the majority were memorialised in the moment of assassination or execution, it led to an array of unhelpful postures.
“Thank you, sir. I am a simple man, and dedicated to my empress.” Captain Toxis said. If he’d noticed Adirn or the guards, then he wasn’t making any sign of it.
“I would look forward to discussing tactical defence of a palace such as this with you some other time, captain. From a strictly academic perspective, of course. It presents challenges that I would be fascinated to hear your approach at solving.”
With all the statues taken, windows had apparently been the next most subtle hiding place; a roost of guards had perched themselves on the sills like armoured crows, and tried to press themselves flat against the glass to hide in the shallow recesses. Their knees were all poking into the corridor by a clear foot.
“I am no general, sir, so I do not know that I could hold much discussion. I have simply had many years and much practice with which to hone my craft.” Keto replied simply.
Adirn, in her naivety, had thought she was angry when she saw a few guards creeping along the hallway on their tip-toes, with their arms held high like vampires from a child’s story. They froze in place when the empress made eye contact with them, and then start to creep again when she turned away in horror. Quite what they thought they were achieving was entirely lost on Adirn, because for all intents and purposes they were not only standing in plain sight, but actually making themselves more obvious as a threat than if they’d just walked up and offered to shake hands. Her rage at that foolishness, however, was eclipsed by the fury of noticing the second row.
Crouch-walking along and attempting to use the faux-vampires as cover, the second line of guards looked more like hunch-backed crabs than soldiers. Wobbling under the immense strain on their knees, they inched along and strived to keep themselves in the silhouettes of their advancing brethren. The notion that they could think their tactics were even mildly effective made Adirn want to spit blood, but even that sense of indignant anger was washed away by white-hot, disbelieving apoplexy at a third row of guards belly-crawling at the rear.
The sound of armour plates scraping across the stone floor of the corridor, not unlike nails being scraped down a bell, almost made it hard to hear the conversation going on in front of her. Legs were splayed across the corridor, swords clacked on the ground and occasionally chimed against the heels of the crouched guards ahead of them. The empress would have gone so far as to say, if she could have formed words through the feathers she was spitting, that the only discretion being shown was that of the White Alliance delegation; specifically, their discretion in ignoring the charade going on in the corridor behind them.
“You are being modest if what our generals tell me is to be believed, Captain Toxis. But they do agree that you are an accomplished combatant. We have lost many to your blade and your command over the years.” Heartswarmth complimented, raising his voice to be heard.
The empress looked away from the incoming guard team lest she scream with impotent disappointment, and realised she’d stopped paying attention to the elucidator and Keto. Awkwardly she looked from one to the other and tried to think of an appropriate interjection. Nothing came to mind, but her mouth started to move anyway.
“Well, yes. But I hope that we don’t find our armies clashing within these halls again.” She said. As she heard the words leave, a series of increasingly dreadful inferences made themselves clear to her and she began to blush. “Which isn’t to say that I mean I want them to clash anywhere else instead. I would prefer for there not to be any combat at all. I mean, I don’t intend for the cycle of invasions and war to continue.” Adirn sputtered as her cheeks passed through pink and entered the realms of burning red, just in time for Katherine to approach within earshot and not even try to suppress a disappointed sigh. “I wish for us to begin an era of peace. That’s what I was trying to say.” Elucidator Heartswarmth allowed his head to follow a priestesses of Almighty Virum, as she carried a silver gallows reverentially before herself. An elucidated eyebrow rose as the emblem on the rear of her robes became fully visible.
“Of course, your diabolical eminence. Your protestations of peaceful intent are welcomed, and carry no less weight for the fact that your religious leaders sport an image of my entire nation being hanged on the back of their robes.” He observed, with frustrating accuracy.
As if she could have blushed any more deeply, Adirn felt the blood behind her cheeks continue surging.
“Yes… I can see why you feel like that. But the Cathedral of the Deep and the worshippers of Almighty Virum are nothing to do with me. It’s all horrifying.”
“Which is to say that you’d rather the church and its followers would cease to be within your empire, if you’ll forgive me asking, your diabolical eminence?” Queried Illuminator Verity. Her voice carried through the halls like a violin’s melody.
“I’d much rather that were the case, yes.” The empress agreed.
“So you’ll be pursuing religious genocide, then. Interesting. It’s not unheard of, of course, but certainly it’s one of the less common atrocities in your empire’s storied history.” Rachael concluded with a surprisingly academic neutrality to her voice.
“No! That’s not what I meant.” Adirn blurted. She thought for a moment. “Nor is it what I said! I’m not going to be persecuting anybody, please stop putting words in my mouth. Everyone keeps doing that to me and I’m really starting to get fed up with it.”
“Is that a threat?” Asked Illuminator Summers, whose broad and toothy grin contradicted any fear of actually being threatened.
“No, it’s just an observation.”
“Of course, your diabolical eminence. I apologise on behalf of my Illuminators. It is improper of an ambassadorial delegation from the White Alliance to ask that of the new ruler of the Onyx Empire.” Elucidator Heartswarmth said, bowing his head slightly in apology.
Adirn was in the process of thanking him, when he continued.
“We all know that threats from the Onyx Empire are far more… descriptive, and we’ll very well know when one is being directed at us.”
“Perhaps via the stitching on a holy woman’s robe.” Illuminator Verity added, helpfully.
“Perhaps.” Heartswarmth echoed, with a finality in his tone that prevented any further interjections. “In any case, is this where you would like for us to conduct our formal business?” He asked, indicating around himself at the corridor. “It’s certainly an unusual choice.”
“She’s an unusual empress.” Katherine muttered.
“Oh. Yes well, I wanted to spare you the walk to my office.” Adirn explained, cringing internally.
“Having travelled the many miles from Serenitas to here, I am grateful that you would seek to save us the last few yards. ” There were nods and polite smiles from the rest of the delegation, and Adirn’s cringe nearly made it all the way to becoming external.
“I can have chairs brought to you, should you wish to sit down.” She said, having drifted away from nervousness and into full panic. “I suppose having travelled all this way, sitting would be better than standing in a corridor. Lawrence, would you please take care of that?” Lawrence raised his eyebrows in alarm at this newly promised service and scurried away towards the office.
“Very kind.” Elucidator Heartswarmth conceded. “But we do not plan to stay for long. None of our delegations to the Onyx Empire would presume to prey on your hospitality for room or board. In fact, so many have fallen prey to it that the practice is now prohibited.” He said, conversationally. “We simply wished to convey a message to you from His Most Radiant Highness, Protector of the White Alliance, Champion of Peace, and Friend to the Masses, the Divine Light Thomas Dove.”
The dry rolling of Katherine’s eyes was once again audible.
“Then I would be pleased to hear it.” Adirn said hurriedly, in an attempt to distract attention from the judgemental Mistress of Records.
Fingers like a harpist’s disappeared into Illuminator Honourborn’s sleeve and drew out an exquisite golden scroll tube. As he handed it to the Elucidator, who mouthed gentle thanks in return, Adirn could see that the sides of the tube were covered in columns of tiny writing which she couldn’t quite read. In her experience of these things, the writing usually belonged on the scroll inside, not the tube itself; recording the message on the tube somewhat defeated the purpose of the exercise. Then again, this delegation was much more experienced than her so she chose not to question it openly.
Proving her intuition correct, the elucidator unscrewed the top of the tube and pulled out a decadent, gilded scroll. Expertly holding both components of the tube as well as the scroll itself, he unroll it and started to read aloud.
“Her Diabolical Eminence, Adirn Deepgrave.” Began Elucidator Heartswarmth. “I apologise for the lack of your title ‘The Denier’, your diabolical eminence.”
“It’s not my official title, and I don’t want for it to be.” Adirn answered, doing her best not to sound as annoyed and scared as she felt. “And would you please refrain from calling me diabolical?”
“Here we go again.” Katherine grumbled. She’d half a mind to give the empress a reprimanding kick, but didn’t want to give the White Alliance delegation the satisfaction.
“So you deny being called The Denier?” Asked Illuminator Verity. A veneer of smugness had started to creep across the mask of neutrality and Adirn was starting to dislike her.
“I don’t deny that I have been called it, but it is not a post-nominal I either wish or deserve to hold.”
“We meant no offence, your di- your eminence, but every ruler for the last two hundred years has been a ‘diabolical’ eminence. Is this a new development of which we have remained sadly ignorant, may I ask?”
“These developments keep coming as surprises to all of us.” Katherine said.
“Thank you, Mistress of Records.” Grumbled Adirn. “Yes, it’s a new development. The Onyx Empire is going to be seeing a lot of change under my reign.” For however long that lasts, she added to herself.
“Changes like purgation of the followers of Almighty Virum?” Asked Illuminator Summers.
“No! Changes like ‘no more hangings’ and ‘less taking pride in being diabolical’.”
“Not, ‘no taking pride in being diabolical’, then? Just less?” Clarified Illuminator Verity. There were chuckles among her comrades.
“We all look forward to seeing the outcome of those noble intentions.” Elucidator Heartswarmth said, shooting his Illuminators a look. “We shall refrain from referring to you as diabolical, your eminence.” He bowed. Adirn began to worry about how well his lower back was going to hold up under the strain all of this bending. If he broke in half whilst under her hospitality then the Divine Light Tomas Dove would never believe that it had been accidental.
“Thank you. Please, continue.” The empress said with her best ambassadorial smile.
“Her Eminence, Adirn Deepgrave of the Onyx Empire, I send my congratulations on your ascension to the ruling seat. We all mourn the loss of Emperor Tyrranick, even though he was felled at our own hand for his treachery, but welcome the reign of a new empress who will surely lead the Onyx Empire onto better things until our next inevitable war.”
Adirn scowled at the insinuation, and then self-consciously resumed her smile. She didn’t want to give the Illuminators any more reason to accuse her of hostile intentions.
“Until such a time as you decide to exercise the evil that has been shown to linger within the borders of the empire since time immemorial, and launch another attack upon us with no warning but much predictability, I invite you to attend my court in Serenitas. It would truly be my honour to have the pleasure of your company such that we might better get to know each other before conflict tears us apart.”
Elucidator Heartswarmth cleared his throat gently.
“Naturally, as is tradition within the Onyx Empire, I expect that your reign is currently unstable. As a sign of respect for the efforts in which you must currently be engaged, fighting off coups from all sides and sleeping with one eye open for fear of assassins from within, I will expect you no sooner than two months from now. By then I sincerely hope that you will have seized sufficient power to take a short break from the empire without treasonous elements stealing your throne in your absence.”
There were empty rooms less hollow than Adirn’s smile. It would have been more convincing if someone had just written the word ‘smiling’ across her cheeks while she screamed.
“With the warmest regards and most welcoming wishes, Divine Light Thomas Dove.” Elucidator Heartswarmth rolled up the scroll and pushed it gently into the scroll case once more. “This copy of the message is yours to keep, your eminence, along with the scroll tube. May the many lessons inscribed on its circumference give you peace.” He held the tube out towards the empress.
Shivering with anger at the series of insults she had just been delivered, and still not entirely over the fact that her poorly hidden guards were still closing in and winking at each other, Adirn placed a hand on the tube. Heartswarmth did not let go.
“I apologise, your eminence, truly I do, but…” he deflated a little “I’m afraid I must ask whether you intend to beat me until dead with this scroll tube.”
“What?” Adirn growled through the tattered remnants of her smile and teeth that would not part for love nor money. She knew in her heart that this wasn’t how to speak diplomatically, but took solace that, at the very least, her nerves had been washed away by the flood of fury.
“It has happened to too many envoys in the past, so it is customary for us to make sure of the situation now.” He said, almost apologetically.
“I do not intend to beat you until dead. Or at all. Or to beat anybody in my empire. Despite what my predecessors enjoyed, and despite what Divine Light Thomas the bird believes to be sufficient grounds to send me a missive of insults, I am not a monster.”
The Illuminators stiffened.
“Divine Light Thomas Dove, your eminence.” Heartswarmth corrected softly, his own mask remaining intact.
Adirn bit at the inside of her lip, furious with herself for letting her temper get out of control.
“Divine Light Thomas Dove.” Adirn repeated with a dip of her head. “You may be pleased to pass on a message that I would be privileged to visit Serentias, and I thank him for the well-wishes. Please also tell him that my reforms have begun, with hanging, burning, drowning and ear-pushing all wholly outlawed within my empire.”
For the first time, Elucidator Heartswarmth couldn’t keep his reaction swallowed beneath a façade of professional calm. His eyebrows rose by barely a hair’s width, but it was noticeable enough.
“That’s a remarkably progressive move. Congratulations.” He said.
“Thank you. I would prefer not to be in a position where simply not murdering my own people is an achievement, but here we are.” Adirn said, making the statement before Illuminator Verity’s smart mouth could. Slowly she started to force calmness back over herself. Katherine’s perseverance in pushing her buttons was at least teaching her that valuable life skill.
“The hanging fields did seem remarkably sparse when we passed through.” Observed Illuminator Honourborn.
“So did the major drowning pools, although that could just have been by virtue of negatively buoyant victims.” Added Illuminator Summers. “We didn’t go fishing about in them to confirm that either way.
“They are empty, and empty they shall remain.” Confirmed the empress. “There will be no more needless cruelty tolerated within my empire.”
“With what shall these practices be replaced, then? Will you imprison your dissenters alongside the followers of Almighty Virum instead?” Asked Illuminator Verity, through a spiteful smirk. “You cannot think us to be so naïve that the Onyx Empire can simply become a just empire overnight. The infection runs deep through this society and this city.”
Adirn’s jaw clenched and she tried to resist making a fist. Quite aside from the political implications of such a move, the woman she wanted to punch was wearing a sword while she herself was unarmed.
“I have not remained ignorant to that fact. An attempt was made on my life only yesterday in response to my prohibition of flaying.” She instead defended.
“It does make one wonder what kind of empire needs to explicitly prohibit so many practices of that kind. How did you punish the assassin I wonder? Did you remain so virtuous with the threat of your own mortality so close?”
“I made her apologise to me.”
“Ha! An apology extracted alongside a few teeth in the torturer’s chamber, no doubt.” Laughed Illuminator Verity.
“That’s enough, Rachael.” Elucidator Heartswarmth chided, but Adirn’s temper cared not for his gentle reprimands.
“I did not torture her!” Shouted the empress. “She was held in place in the audience hall, where the attempt was made, until she apologised to me. Then, and only then, was she allowed to go free.”
Captain Toxis pulled an unconvinced face. Lacking the captain’s subtlety, Katherine tutted and huffed.
“Stop trying to deny it, girl. You devised and exercised a beautiful torture unheard of in the empire to date.” Said the Mistress of Records. With a face that tried to act like a thunderstorm, but achieved something closer to drizzle, Adirn burned a stare into Katherine.
“And there we have it, from her own Mistress of Records. The Denier she is.” Illuminator Verity said triumphantly, with smug smiles appearing on the faces of the other Illuminators and suppressed disappointment on the face of Elucidator Heartswarmth.
“I didn’t torture her.” Pleaded Adirn. “Not intentionally at least. I just had her held in place until she apologised to me. It was her own fault if she was so stubborn that she almost ruptured her own bladder rather than just saying sorry for throwing a knife at me!”
“And I suppose it’s the farmhand’s own fault if they’re so stubborn that they refuse to admit to withholding tax until they’ve had both ears irreversibly pushed into their heads.” Illuminator Verity sniped. Katherine nodded sincerely to the sentiment.
“It is an entirely different situation.” Adirn defended, weakly. “She walks free now and was allowed immediate access to a privy upon her apology.”
“You allowed an attempted murderer to walk free? That’s an interesting interpretation of justice. Almost like you condone killings, as long as they don’t happen to you personally.”
“No, I don’t, that’s not what it means.”
“Denying it again, Empress Adirn Deepgrave the Denier?”
“Rachael, you will show her dia-… her eminence, some respect.” Snapped Elucidator Heartswarmth, going so far as to frown at his colleague.
“Oh for goodness sakes! The Denier wasn’t even on the list of post-nominals I was forced to choose from, so please stop it. Not that I much prefer Oathbreaker.”
Elucidator Heartswarmth’s eyebrows rose at the notion.
“Not because of anything I’ve done, just because it was the least… grisly of all the titles that tradition has tried to foist upon me. Rest assured my oaths will be kept.” Explained the empress, trying to dig the hole away.
“Exactly what I’d expect to hear from an oathbreaker who was also a denier.” Chuckled Illuminator Verity.
“Rachael if you say another word I will have your rank struck from you.” Elucidator Heartswarmth interjected before Adirn could try to defend herself again. “We are here to parlay with the empress, not throw insults at her for the crimes of the empire she inherited. Kindly apologise.”
Illuminator Verity nodded to her Elucidator and then turned to Adirn.
“I apologise, your eminence.” She said. To her credit, the words had a ring of sincerity about them, but they didn’t wipe the smug grin off her face.
“Your eminence, I also apologise for the conduct of my Illuminators. This was not the Divine Light Thomas Dove’s intention.”
Adirn looked back flatly at the Elucidator. From what the missive had said, Tommy the bird’s attitude was far better aligned to the Illuminator’s than the Elucidator’s. No good would come of losing her temper again though, she reasoned.
“Think no more of it. I understand that there is a history of bad blood between our nations.” Adirn conceded, feeling yet more of that bad blood pumping whenever she looked at Rachael Verity. There was further motion behind the Illuminators, however, that made the empress pinch the bridge of her nose. “I would also like to apologise for the conduct of the Palace Guard, while we’re making amends for things beyond our control.”
All vampiric creeping had ceased. While this should have been a great relief to the empress, she felt no happiness at seeing the guards trying to cram themselves into the shadows cast by the Illuminators. From the proud expressions on their faces, and occasional thumbs-ups they sent towards Captain Toxis, they were under the illusion of being utterly undetectable and impeccably discreet.
“Fear not, your eminence. This is the most subtle they have been during any visit I have paid to your palace.” Elucidator Heartswarmth said, graciously. “One young man in the employ of the palace guard tried to hide himself in my scroll tube many years ago; thankfully he stopped when I asked politely, but that was only because he realised that he’d been noticed. He subsequently pretended to have been conducting routine scroll checks , if I recall.”
He and the empress both sighed, one wistful and the other pained.
“Well, if your official business is concluded then may I offer you food and drink, or a place to stay for the night? The hospitality of the Imperial Palace is yours to enjoy.” Offered Adirn, trying to regain some kind of common ground.
Dubious expressions came back her way.
“A kind offer, your eminence, but we would not presume to prey upon your resources. We have sustenance aplenty in our caravan and must make all haste back to Serenitas with your response.” Elucidator Heartswarmth said, with his deepest bow yet.
“As you wish. At least it’s not because you thought I was going to poison you or kidnap you or something.” Adirn said, desperately trying to find a bright side.
The delegation hesitated before smiling in response, and it told the empress everything she needed to know.
“Have you been reading ahead about the actions of your predecessors?” Asked Katherine from behind. “Emperor Hendrick Guestwrath is next in the succession after Harriet the Betrayer.”
Disappointed sighs from Elucidator Heartswarmth and chuckles from the Illuminators were the only response that the Mistress of Records would receive. The empress sagged.
“In that case, you may go with my assurances that I will not poison or kidnap any guests at my table, from within the empire or without. But I understand that my word may not count for much as yet.” Adirn straightened up again. “Know, though, that you are always welcome here.”
“Thank you, your eminence. Please, I hope that I did not offend you. I will admit that this notion of having an attempted murderer walking free has also weighed on my mind with regards to making dinner plans.” He said candidly. When he saw Adirn’s face scrunch up with irritation he quickly continued. “Regardless, I will ensure that the Divine Light Thomas Dove understands all that you convey. Would you be so kind as to ask our escort of palace guards to move back a little so that we may leave? I’d rather not bump into the chap behind me as I try to turn.”
“There’s no-one here.” Muttered the guard in question without moving his mouth, shrinking back a bit in an attempt to become more hidden. In fairness, he couldn’t have become any less hidden no matter what he did.
“Oh, yes of course. Captain Toxis?”
“Stand down.” He said simply.
In a manner that suggested they believed themselves to be melting out of the shadows and surprising everybody with their sudden presence, the team of guards sprang into the centre of the corridor with triumphant expressions. Try as she might, Adirn couldn’t remain angry with them; of all the delusions she’d encountered in the palace, this one seemed to be the least harmful so far.
“I have the first of the chairs, your eminence.” Lawrence called breathlessly from just behind Katherine. Red-faced and soaked with perspiration, he was dragging a solid onyx aurochs’ head seat towards the delegation.
“Ah, Lawrence. Perfect timing. Would you please show our guests back to the main entrance and ensure that they have anything they should need for the journey back to Serenitas? We have no more need to the seats.” Adirn asked the logistician. His eyes flashed with heartbreak for a moment as he released his grip on unfathomably heavy stone head. Then he dutifully nodded, gave up any hope of ever regaining his breath, and strode away down the corridor.
“Good day to you, your eminence.” Elucidator Heartswarmth said with a final bow. His Illuminators followed suit without wiping the smug grins off their faces.
“Safe travels.” Adirn bade.
Standing with what she hoped was regal grace, the empress watched as the delegation left behind the avatar of exhaustion that was poor Lawrence. She then curled up when the palace guards began their ‘discreet’ tailing of the group again.
“We really need to train them in what stealth actually means, captain.” Adirn said with a defeated sigh.
“I’m surprised you’re not asking for the practice of tailing our guests to cease entirely, your eminence.”
“While our guests deem it necessary to bring four armed guards to ask me if I’d like to visit them I’ll feel better for having my own soldiers around.” She said, with a disappointed pragmatism. “Gods, I’ve not felt like such a petulant schoolchild defending myself against spurious allegations since… well, actually I’ve felt like it almost constantly since taking the throne. But for different reasons.”
“You don’t need their approval; they are the enemy.” Katherine spat from behind.
“On the contrary, Katherine, I rather believe that I do need their approval. We are currently haemorrhaging our treasury to them in war reparations, they have routinely defeated our military and invaded our palace, and I can’t bring myself to say that they are wrong for any of it! We need to win their favour once and for all.”
“Utter trash!”
“Do you think they’ll put up with this forever? This endless provocation?” Adirn asked the old woman. “When an ant bites at your skin it can do no harm but you swat it none the less because it is irritating. And before you start, we are very much the ant in this analogy. Mark my words, the Onyx Empire will cease to exist the moment that the White Alliance’s patience runs out, and the only thing more perplexing than Count Rott’s military strategy of perfect predictability is the White Alliance’s policy of letting us keep doing it. I intend to see the sense of the matter before they do.”
Captain Toxis frowned and looked towards the floor.
“You’re still too soft, despite my tutelage. Once we’ve completed your education about the glory of your predecessors you’ll understand that the Onyx Empire has survived worse than this, and that we’ll engulf the White Alliance in our terrible embrace soon.” Katherine persisted.
“That’s not true though, is it?” Adirn asked wearily.
Katherine folded her arms defiantly.
“Yes it is. Because I said so.”
“The empress makes a good point.” Captain Toxis said, still addressing the floor. “The thought has crossed my mind many a time, but I didn’t care to give it much time or attention. It is only what I advised when Countess Lascera threw her blades at you, eminence; destroy the threat even though it has proved harmless this time.” His weathered and scarred face folded in a way that suggested disappointment. He’d not shown disappointment when relaying how previous emperors and empresses under his protection had been killed, nor in allowing Adirn to come so close to death at the hands of Countess Lascera. To see it surface now raised a concerned curiosity in the empress. “The day will come when another empire threatens the White Alliance, and when that happens they will cease to brush us away like a nuisance, and instead put us down for good so that they can focus on the real dangers.”
“Not you too, Keto. The girl has got into your head, made you soft as well.” Complained the Mistress of Records. “The Onyx Empire will never fall to the White Alliance and that’s that.”
Captain Toxis shrugged.
“We will accept the invitation to visit Thomas Dove. We will accept the invitation, and we will ask for his forgiveness, just like I made Countess Lascera ask for mine.” Adirn said.
“He’ll never grant it and we don’t need it. They are vermin to be crushed.” Katherine persisted.
“That’s exactly the sort of talk that means we do need it. We need it very much. Perhaps he will grant us his mercy and perhaps he won’t, but we must ask and we must demonstrate that I am true to my word by changing this empire for the better.”
“If you wish to reform the empire then you will require the support of the Dark Council, your eminence. Your decrees have not proved popular with them, their conduct over the last couple of days has made that clear, and you have but two months before you are to meet in Serenitas.” Captain Toxis observed, not appearing wholly convinced by the practicality of the exercise.
“They will do as they are commanded because I am their empress.” Adirn said, but none of them believed it. A passing priest of Almighty Virum, holding a set of ceremonial obsidian thumbscrews chuckled as he passed.
“The Grand Priestess also appears not to support your vision, your eminence.” Said Toxis, his eyes following the priest down the corridor. Adirn could hardly disagree.
“We need her as much as anyone else, I suppose.” Sighed the empress. “The Dark Council shall be convened in the morning, and we shall lay out plans for my reformation. In the meantime, we must pay our respects to Almighty Virum’s vessel in this world and learn exactly why she can’t get over all this robe nonsense.”
“Speak for yourself. I’m not walking all the way down those stairs to the Cathedral of the Deep just to say she’s right and walk all the way up again.” Katherine protested. “Or are you claiming this to also be more important than your lessons in the history of the empire, that you personally requested from me and have been inventively disrupting ever since?”
“I… they are incredibly important, but I cannot concentrate on them with this matter weighing over me. Allow me to clear my mind by discussing the Grand Priestess’ concerns with my reign, and we shall be able to continue our lessons uninterrupted. You have my word.”
“The word of Oathbreaker Adirn Deepgrave, is it?”
“It’s the only word I have.” Adirn replied, grateful that she at least wasn’t the Denier.
All was still in empress’ office, now that the aurochs’ head chair had been successfully wrestled out of its place. Had there been anyone to notice, the sound of soft footsteps would have been heard, seemingly echoing inside the walls, moving around the perimeter of the room until they reached the edge of the window. A slight grinding of stone blocks moving against one another would have been just about audible in the silence of the room, had anyone been lurking behind the curtains at the time. As it was, no-one noticed the eyes that scanned over Adirn’s note on the desk regarding the replacement of a door. A few moments later the stone blocks slid back into place, and footsteps inside the wall echoed away once again.
Nearly all of sites of cultural, historical or monetary value in the City of Torment were housed within the Imperial Palace. Partly, this was a monument to the collective arrogance of the emperors and empresses of the past, who had declared that they were the most important people in the empire and that their home was therefore the only reasonable place for anything else that mattered. At its apex, this attitude had briefly extended to requiring that all fertile farmland must be stored within the palace, since the production of food was of the utmost importance when surviving a White Alliance siege. Thankfully, it only lasted until the lack of sunlight became problematic for growth and a bedroom full of topsoil became bothersome to the emperor.
The density of important sites in the palace was also a practical consequence of being invaded and besieged every couple of years; nothing outside of the palace could be relied upon to withstand catapult bombardment for long enough to make it onto a map, let alone become a part of the cultural heritage of the empire. When the cost of bi-yearly rebuilds were factored in, the rule of threes meant that any kind of grand architecture outside of the palace walls was a no go.
The lack of piety among the destitute peasantry meant that tithes to Almighty Virum could never cover the cost of repeatedly rebuilding a whole cathedral, even a shabby one. So it was that the Cathedral of the Deep had been forced to eventually turn to the throne for help. After a few rulers laughed off the notion as foolhardy, since that money could be better spent by throwing hundreds to their deaths in another war against the White Alliance, Emperor Pious Cutpurse finally relented. Under his reign the Onyx Empire saw a devastating series of thefts from the treasuries of major noble houses, but the Imperial treasury also saw a coincidentally fortuitous increase in its income, thanks to the closely guarded secret methods of the emperor and his imperial thieves’ corp. With these deep coffers he had agreed to gift the church of Almighty Virum sufficient funds to allow the construction of a glorious cathedral in His name. The only condition was that it must sit deep underneath the Imperial Palace, such that any who looked up in prayer from its sacred alcoves and altars would also be reaching out to their god-emperor himself. Unfortunately for Pious Cutpurse, he never lived to see the completion of his great place of worship; he slipped on the top stair when visiting the site one morning and tumbled all the way down to his death. The hand-prints found on his back were deemed by the impoverished nobles to be inconsequential. The hastily drawn-up and shockingly generous will they’d found on his body when no-one else was looking, however, was of great consequence to them indeed.
Adirn read as much on a great series of engraved onyx tablets that lined the walls of the stairs down to the Cathedral of the Deep. She could perfectly well picture the body of a heavily robed and financially untrustworthy emperor bouncing and crunching down the slick and uneven steps that led to the Almighty Virum’s house of worship.
“What a way to go.” Said the empress, as her mind speculated on how Emperor Cutpurse’s fall might have sounded.
“It’s better than a lot of them got, your eminence.”
Adirn started as her foot slipped forwards from the dished cavity of one step, sending her collapsing downwards. If not for Captain Toxis’ viper-like reflexes in catching her, she might have followed the example of her ancient predecessor.
“Euggh!” She grunted. Every vein in her body pulsed with the rhythm of her thumping heart. “Thank you, captain.”
“It is my duty, your eminence. Threats to your life do not always come from a blade or mace.”
Adirn stared down the long, straight staircase. Although there were torches paired on either wall at intervals along the descent, they failed to fully lift the tarry blackness of the cavernous passageway. Where the extant light fell it picked out the softly pocked and uneven surface of carved walls, and the natural, irregular surface of the obsidian blocks used as stairs. The two rows of yellow torchlight tried to converge as they stretched away from the empress’ sight, but their glows were swallowed by the darkness before they could come together. Empreror Pious Cutpurse had buried Almighty Virum deep.
Further under the surface and the palace Adirn and Captain Toxis descended, and cooler the air grew. Wet, stony smells of the deep earth wrapped around their heads, and the walls started to glisten with rivulets of water; along jagged trajectories they explored various undulations and imperfections in the tunnel’s cave surface, while making their way down to slicken the steps.
“Why are there so many long staircases in this palace?” Adirn complained, bracing herself against the wall with one hand and walking as cautiously as she could. “If those priestesses and priests are carrying all of Almighty Virum’s gold from my palace down these steps all day then they must all have legs of steel.”
“It is true that only those initiates with strong legs manage to ascend the hierarchy of the church, eminence.”
“I shudder to think of what might happen if the Grand Priestess decided to kick someone. If she’s been training like this every day for what I assume to have been at least one hundred years of life, then she’ll be able to take down walls with just a nudge.”
Gradually, over the course of minutes, a glow became more apparent ahead of the descending pair, marking the foot of the stairs and the promise of a glorious reprieve for the empress’ weary legs. Glassy, deep purple flagstones reflected the light of torches, candles and chandeliers, staining their yellow-orange light indigo and dispersing it into a soft haze that picked out the edges of a natural, stony doorway.
“That must be the cathedral ahead. Do you think they have somewhere I can sit down without getting wet?” Adirn asked, looking down at the puddles of run-off pooling in the steps.
“I’m not theologian, eminence, but comfort does not seem to be something of concern to Almighty Virum.”
“I was worried that might be the case.”
When they finally reached the bottom of the staircase, mercifully by stepping rather than plummeting, all thoughts of seating left Adirn’s mind. Passing through the stone doorway unveiled to them the true majesty that was the Cathedral of the Deep.
Adirn had thought she’d climbed down a long way. She’d felt sure that the Cathedral of the Deep had been buried as far below the earth has Emperor Cutpurse could manage. Looking up into the seemingly endless expanse of the Cathedral disabused her of that idea immediately, because there was no way that she could have climbed as far down as the ceiling of the cathedral was high. The whole Imperial Palace could have fit into the subterranean cavern that served as the cathedral, and still there would have been room to spare. It was scarcely conceivable that the whole City of Torment could sit above such a vast cavity without it collapsing upon them.
Curving like the inside of a fishbowl, the onyx walls of the cave bloated outwards and upwards until they disappeared into blackness above. Piercing through the mysterious dark overhead, like fangs puncturing through skin, were stalactites of imperceptible origins, their twisted, wet points picked out by the light of a thousand of candles burning around the chamber. Great stony curtains of deposited limestone wavered down the walls and curled around enormous dripstone pillars. Many pillars had been carved with the horrifying, impossibly geometries of Almighty Virum’s likeness, while others had been left to look like melting towers underneath his gaze.
Standing there in the entryway, Adirn gaped with an open mouth and became acutely aware of how small she really was. The floor of the Cathedral sat on several levels, with obsidian tiled ramps or stairs leading from one to another to create a complex series of balconies, overlooks and platforms. Rows of pews were arranged on the lowest level, at the back of which the empress stood, and faced a broad platform that apparently served as a dais. Each of the pews was bookended with a standing candelabra of tarnished silver, and hanging above them from chains that disappeared into the abyss above were similarly dulled chandeliers, dripping wax slowly onto the flagstones beneath.
Silver and gold rails and barriers lined many of the cliff-edged outcrops, from which the wisdom and judgement of Almighty Virum were presumably preached. Behind many of them Adirn could see members of Virum’s clergy bustling here and there with the iconography they’d been transporting down from the palace itself.
“It’s… genuinely beautiful.” Said the empress, overawed not only by the cathedral itself but by one of her predecessors managing to create something that she didn’t hate.
“Almighty Virum cares not for beauty.” Echoed a familiar, judgemental voice. Every one of the curved walls reflected the sound down onto Adirn like a natural auditorium, making her feel the full weight of every syllable. “Virum’s halls are monuments to his terrible hatred and the suffering he offers to the White Alliance. His cathedral is a monument to our dominion, and his traditions are sacred rites of fealty to his power.”
Adirn scanned around for the source of the voice, but it seemed to be coming from all around her at the same time; t was as if the Cathedral of the Deep itself emitted the lecture at her from each and every scalloped surface. Captain Toxis tapped her on the shoulder and pointed to a balcony that protruded between two stone pillars. Each one was carved with half of Amighty Virum’s face, so that the central platform appeared to have split is head in two and pushed it apart. Adirn was sure that it was somehow symbolic, but what it could symbolise other than an intention to split their deity’s face in two was lost on her.
Standing on that balcony between the demi-faced pillars, in her robes of a hanged empire, was the Grand Priestess.
“Welcome to the seat of Almighty Virum’s power, your eminence.” She said with a sneer. “Have you come to beg forgiveness?”
“What are you doing getting this worked up over a diplomatic envoy? You’re the empress, meeting foreign dignitaries is rather a major part of your remit.” Katherine said, offering a bounty of disapproval.
“It’s the first time, and I’ve just been hearing from you about the many innovative and despicable things my predecessors did to this envoy’s ancestors.” The empress explained.
“Pah. You might be nervous about it but they won’t be, so unless you want to spend this whole affair at a disadvantage I’d advise you to get a grip.”
“They’ve had plenty of revenge from all the invasions, your eminence. Those despicable things of which you speak have been paid back many times over with the justice of the sword.” Captain Toxis added.
“Knowledge of previous military interventions doesn’t exactly set my mind at rest. But you’re right, I need to compose myself.” Adirn smoothed down the front of her dress, as if that was even close to being the most obviously unprepared thing about her. “Should I be sitting for when this delegation arrives? No, I feel like standing is probably right. Greet them as equals and then we all take a seat together. Sitting down when they come in would look like a power play or a sign of disrespect.”
“Or like you’d been walking up and down God-Gouger tower and needed a sit down.” Captain Toxis offered. Adirn waved a dismissive hand at the notion.
“Do we shake hands, or are they cheek-kissers, or a salute of some sort?”
Kathrine audibly rolled her eyes around the dry and shrivelled sockets in her head.
“Oh gods, they’re going to have to march all the way up that bloody corridor towards me as well.” Adirn continued, looking down the extensive hallway that led to her door-free office. “I think the standing or sitting power play is irrelevant compared to the long-hall insult. We need to meet with them somewhere else.”
With a startled frown at the presumption that she would be going anywhere, Katherine watched the young empress walk hurriedly out from behind her enormous desk and almost break into a jog down the corridor. Dutifully Captain Toxis followed behind, keeping pace whilst still looking as if the act of walking could barely have been more casual. Softly the Mistress of Records gave an irritable huff, and then she started gathering the hems of her many skirts in preparation to stand. The empress was lucky she’d tortured someone only yesterday, otherwise she wouldn’t be getting such special treatment as this.
“Do you think there’ll be a lot of them here? Will they be armed? Should I be armed?” Worried Adirn. A whole labyrinth of customs and protocol started to unravel itself in her mind. Every thought turned her into another twisting passageway potential unwitting slights or cultural insults.
“They always bring an honour guard, your eminence, but a team of my own palace guards will be following the delegation at all times. It is standard protocol for us whenever delegations from the Alliance are present.”
“At a discreet distance, I hope?”
“Their discretion won’t be any less than normal.” Replied the captain. It didn’t give Adirn the strong ‘yes’ for which she’d been hoping, but there was no time to worry about that.
“What do you know about the proper protocol for these meetings? Is it a formal state visit or are they just coming to deliver this month’s bill for reparations?” Adirn asked breathlessly.
Captain Toxis shrugged as he walked behind. A few moments later, he appreciated the folly of the action.
“I do not know of these things, eminence. This is more the realm of the nobles than the guards.”
Adirn reached the end of the corridor, where it formed a T with another hallway, and then turned back to face her captain of the guard.
“Bah. Knowing them they’ll say it’s about planning the best time for a thirteenth identical surprise attack on the two-year anniversary of the twelfth.”
“I shouldn’t think that would be terribly surprising!” Chuckled a soft, warm voice from behind Adirn.
Leaping into the air, she twisted to face a tall, lean man standing at ease with his hands clasped at his abdomen. Forming a small arrowhead formation behind him was a group of other strangers, all looking at the empress with expectant curiosity. Raggedly dashing around the edge of the cluster of visitors was a disturbingly sweaty Lawrence.
“Your eminence…” he said, holding one hand in the air to signal that he would be continuing shortly after a panting break. “… please allow me... to introduce…. Elucidator Prudence Heartswarmth of the White Alliance… and his diplomatic attaché.”
Looking at her guests, Adirn could barely comprehend how their two empires could have been any more different. Where every aspect of life in the Onyx Empire was defined by darkness and shadows, everything about this slice of the White Alliance was created of pure light and irradiance. Whether they had a better grade of launderer in the Alliance or it was just contrast with the deep matte blacks of the corridor panelling, the crisp and white doublets, dresses and robes of the White Alliance’s delegation seemed to glow. Maybe it was just the faint illuminance tricking her, but the empress saw that each one of the delegates wore a bright smile beneath kind eyes, and she felt any fear of beheading melt away.
“An honour to become acquainted with you, your diabolical eminence.” Said the elucidator with a short, reverential bow. The neatly combed blonde hair atop his head remained pristine as he arose again, and he smiled with enough politeness for a hundred ambassadorial banquets. Elegantly tailored but understated, his shimmering-white doublet and shirt clung to what little frame Heartswarmth had and screamed that he was here with all the respect a person could muster.
“Elucidator Heartswarmth… her Imperial Diabolical Eminence, Empress Adirn Deepgrave the Denier, first of her name.” Lawrence introduced, before leaning backwards against the wall and gulping thirstily for air. Adirn cringed at the title he’d chosen to give her.
“A pleasure to welcome you, Eludicator Heartswarmth.” Adirn said, with the first attempt at a curtsey she’d made in many years. If she’d been forced to rate her performance, perhaps by a roving etiquette instructor or Katherine, she would have given herself no higher than a five out of ten.
“Thank you, your diabolical eminence. The imperial palace is just as infernal as I remembered it and a true testament to the history and cultural choices of the Onyx Empire.” He smiled. Adirn was trying to work out whether that made her angry or not when the elucidator continued. “I am joined, of course, by Illuminators Rachael Verity, Bliss Luminance, Bloom Summers, and Joy Honourborn.”
One by one, in time with their names being called, the Illuminators gave Adirn a deep and respectful bow. Each movement was immaculately controlled and rehearsed, so much so that the empress wondered if they were in fact performing a very slow and silent dance rather than saying hello. After a short but intense period in the company of conniving nobility, terrified servant staff and brazen dissenters in the Onyx Empire, the honest openness of the Illuminators felt like the first salty breath of air after nearly drowning. Despite the long, curved blades that hung from their hips and the carefully shaped armour plating concealed beneath their robes, everything about them made the empress wish to let her guard down. It would have filled her with joy just to bask in their brightness, brushing over her face as the first touch of sunlight when the shutters were thrown open on a summer morning.
Before Adirn could fall completely under the Illuminators’ spell, however, an irritable cough rang from the hallway to signal Katherine’s approach. Suddenly the curtains were drawn, Adirn’s mind was plunged back into shadow, and there was no forgetting the indomitable darkness of the Onyx Empire.
“A privilege to receive you all as guests.” Adirn said, making phrases up on the spot and hoping that they sounded half-way correct. “You have met my houseman Lawrence already. I mean, that’s obvious, of course you have. He showed you up here.” The words started to cling to the inside of the empress’ throat, making her want to spit them out even faster. “But… er… this is Captain Keto Toxis, the captain of my palace guard, and joining us along the hallway is the Mistress of Records, Katherine.”
“I have had the pleasure of meeting with Mistress of Records Katherine before, but I believe this is the first time you and I have come to face one another, Captain Toxis. Greetings.” Said Elucidator Heartswarmth. Adirn frowned slightly in disbelief; if anyone had met Katherine before then there was no way they’d describe that experience as a pleasure, but the Elucidator gave the impression that he couldn’t possibly tell a lie.
“Good day, sir.” Keto replied, with a curt nod.
“I must congratulate you on your aptitude, Captain. It has been something I’ve wished to say to you for many years.”
There was clattering of steel in the hallway behind the delegation which drew Adirn’s attention as the Elucidator and the captain spoke. Staring between the heads of Illuminators Verity and Luminance, the empress nearly choked on her own throat when she saw the ‘discreet’ detachment of palace guards providing supervision.
It wasn’t a problem that an unnecessarily large number of guards had appeared per se, because the implicit statement of distrust was unchanged whether there were four or four hundred swords pointed at the delegation. Standing with weapons ready was rather on the heavy-handed and impolite side, but again the empress could live with it. The really pressingly embarrassing concern, the one that made Adirn want to either curl up and disappear or reach out and strangle every guard she could see, was their unique interpretation of what it meant to be stealthy.
The more accomplished of the palace guards, and that term was very much a relative one, had stood themselves behind the busts and statuettes of rulers that lined the corridor. Their efforts to line themselves up perfectly with the poses adopted by the sculptures were laudable, but given that the majority were memorialised in the moment of assassination or execution, it led to an array of unhelpful postures.
“Thank you, sir. I am a simple man, and dedicated to my empress.” Captain Toxis said. If he’d noticed Adirn or the guards, then he wasn’t making any sign of it.
“I would look forward to discussing tactical defence of a palace such as this with you some other time, captain. From a strictly academic perspective, of course. It presents challenges that I would be fascinated to hear your approach at solving.”
With all the statues taken, windows had apparently been the next most subtle hiding place; a roost of guards had perched themselves on the sills like armoured crows, and tried to press themselves flat against the glass to hide in the shallow recesses. Their knees were all poking into the corridor by a clear foot.
“I am no general, sir, so I do not know that I could hold much discussion. I have simply had many years and much practice with which to hone my craft.” Keto replied simply.
Adirn, in her naivety, had thought she was angry when she saw a few guards creeping along the hallway on their tip-toes, with their arms held high like vampires from a child’s story. They froze in place when the empress made eye contact with them, and then start to creep again when she turned away in horror. Quite what they thought they were achieving was entirely lost on Adirn, because for all intents and purposes they were not only standing in plain sight, but actually making themselves more obvious as a threat than if they’d just walked up and offered to shake hands. Her rage at that foolishness, however, was eclipsed by the fury of noticing the second row.
Crouch-walking along and attempting to use the faux-vampires as cover, the second line of guards looked more like hunch-backed crabs than soldiers. Wobbling under the immense strain on their knees, they inched along and strived to keep themselves in the silhouettes of their advancing brethren. The notion that they could think their tactics were even mildly effective made Adirn want to spit blood, but even that sense of indignant anger was washed away by white-hot, disbelieving apoplexy at a third row of guards belly-crawling at the rear.
The sound of armour plates scraping across the stone floor of the corridor, not unlike nails being scraped down a bell, almost made it hard to hear the conversation going on in front of her. Legs were splayed across the corridor, swords clacked on the ground and occasionally chimed against the heels of the crouched guards ahead of them. The empress would have gone so far as to say, if she could have formed words through the feathers she was spitting, that the only discretion being shown was that of the White Alliance delegation; specifically, their discretion in ignoring the charade going on in the corridor behind them.
“You are being modest if what our generals tell me is to be believed, Captain Toxis. But they do agree that you are an accomplished combatant. We have lost many to your blade and your command over the years.” Heartswarmth complimented, raising his voice to be heard.
The empress looked away from the incoming guard team lest she scream with impotent disappointment, and realised she’d stopped paying attention to the elucidator and Keto. Awkwardly she looked from one to the other and tried to think of an appropriate interjection. Nothing came to mind, but her mouth started to move anyway.
“Well, yes. But I hope that we don’t find our armies clashing within these halls again.” She said. As she heard the words leave, a series of increasingly dreadful inferences made themselves clear to her and she began to blush. “Which isn’t to say that I mean I want them to clash anywhere else instead. I would prefer for there not to be any combat at all. I mean, I don’t intend for the cycle of invasions and war to continue.” Adirn sputtered as her cheeks passed through pink and entered the realms of burning red, just in time for Katherine to approach within earshot and not even try to suppress a disappointed sigh. “I wish for us to begin an era of peace. That’s what I was trying to say.” Elucidator Heartswarmth allowed his head to follow a priestesses of Almighty Virum, as she carried a silver gallows reverentially before herself. An elucidated eyebrow rose as the emblem on the rear of her robes became fully visible.
“Of course, your diabolical eminence. Your protestations of peaceful intent are welcomed, and carry no less weight for the fact that your religious leaders sport an image of my entire nation being hanged on the back of their robes.” He observed, with frustrating accuracy.
As if she could have blushed any more deeply, Adirn felt the blood behind her cheeks continue surging.
“Yes… I can see why you feel like that. But the Cathedral of the Deep and the worshippers of Almighty Virum are nothing to do with me. It’s all horrifying.”
“Which is to say that you’d rather the church and its followers would cease to be within your empire, if you’ll forgive me asking, your diabolical eminence?” Queried Illuminator Verity. Her voice carried through the halls like a violin’s melody.
“I’d much rather that were the case, yes.” The empress agreed.
“So you’ll be pursuing religious genocide, then. Interesting. It’s not unheard of, of course, but certainly it’s one of the less common atrocities in your empire’s storied history.” Rachael concluded with a surprisingly academic neutrality to her voice.
“No! That’s not what I meant.” Adirn blurted. She thought for a moment. “Nor is it what I said! I’m not going to be persecuting anybody, please stop putting words in my mouth. Everyone keeps doing that to me and I’m really starting to get fed up with it.”
“Is that a threat?” Asked Illuminator Summers, whose broad and toothy grin contradicted any fear of actually being threatened.
“No, it’s just an observation.”
“Of course, your diabolical eminence. I apologise on behalf of my Illuminators. It is improper of an ambassadorial delegation from the White Alliance to ask that of the new ruler of the Onyx Empire.” Elucidator Heartswarmth said, bowing his head slightly in apology.
Adirn was in the process of thanking him, when he continued.
“We all know that threats from the Onyx Empire are far more… descriptive, and we’ll very well know when one is being directed at us.”
“Perhaps via the stitching on a holy woman’s robe.” Illuminator Verity added, helpfully.
“Perhaps.” Heartswarmth echoed, with a finality in his tone that prevented any further interjections. “In any case, is this where you would like for us to conduct our formal business?” He asked, indicating around himself at the corridor. “It’s certainly an unusual choice.”
“She’s an unusual empress.” Katherine muttered.
“Oh. Yes well, I wanted to spare you the walk to my office.” Adirn explained, cringing internally.
“Having travelled the many miles from Serenitas to here, I am grateful that you would seek to save us the last few yards. ” There were nods and polite smiles from the rest of the delegation, and Adirn’s cringe nearly made it all the way to becoming external.
“I can have chairs brought to you, should you wish to sit down.” She said, having drifted away from nervousness and into full panic. “I suppose having travelled all this way, sitting would be better than standing in a corridor. Lawrence, would you please take care of that?” Lawrence raised his eyebrows in alarm at this newly promised service and scurried away towards the office.
“Very kind.” Elucidator Heartswarmth conceded. “But we do not plan to stay for long. None of our delegations to the Onyx Empire would presume to prey on your hospitality for room or board. In fact, so many have fallen prey to it that the practice is now prohibited.” He said, conversationally. “We simply wished to convey a message to you from His Most Radiant Highness, Protector of the White Alliance, Champion of Peace, and Friend to the Masses, the Divine Light Thomas Dove.”
The dry rolling of Katherine’s eyes was once again audible.
“Then I would be pleased to hear it.” Adirn said hurriedly, in an attempt to distract attention from the judgemental Mistress of Records.
Fingers like a harpist’s disappeared into Illuminator Honourborn’s sleeve and drew out an exquisite golden scroll tube. As he handed it to the Elucidator, who mouthed gentle thanks in return, Adirn could see that the sides of the tube were covered in columns of tiny writing which she couldn’t quite read. In her experience of these things, the writing usually belonged on the scroll inside, not the tube itself; recording the message on the tube somewhat defeated the purpose of the exercise. Then again, this delegation was much more experienced than her so she chose not to question it openly.
Proving her intuition correct, the elucidator unscrewed the top of the tube and pulled out a decadent, gilded scroll. Expertly holding both components of the tube as well as the scroll itself, he unroll it and started to read aloud.
“Her Diabolical Eminence, Adirn Deepgrave.” Began Elucidator Heartswarmth. “I apologise for the lack of your title ‘The Denier’, your diabolical eminence.”
“It’s not my official title, and I don’t want for it to be.” Adirn answered, doing her best not to sound as annoyed and scared as she felt. “And would you please refrain from calling me diabolical?”
“Here we go again.” Katherine grumbled. She’d half a mind to give the empress a reprimanding kick, but didn’t want to give the White Alliance delegation the satisfaction.
“So you deny being called The Denier?” Asked Illuminator Verity. A veneer of smugness had started to creep across the mask of neutrality and Adirn was starting to dislike her.
“I don’t deny that I have been called it, but it is not a post-nominal I either wish or deserve to hold.”
“We meant no offence, your di- your eminence, but every ruler for the last two hundred years has been a ‘diabolical’ eminence. Is this a new development of which we have remained sadly ignorant, may I ask?”
“These developments keep coming as surprises to all of us.” Katherine said.
“Thank you, Mistress of Records.” Grumbled Adirn. “Yes, it’s a new development. The Onyx Empire is going to be seeing a lot of change under my reign.” For however long that lasts, she added to herself.
“Changes like purgation of the followers of Almighty Virum?” Asked Illuminator Summers.
“No! Changes like ‘no more hangings’ and ‘less taking pride in being diabolical’.”
“Not, ‘no taking pride in being diabolical’, then? Just less?” Clarified Illuminator Verity. There were chuckles among her comrades.
“We all look forward to seeing the outcome of those noble intentions.” Elucidator Heartswarmth said, shooting his Illuminators a look. “We shall refrain from referring to you as diabolical, your eminence.” He bowed. Adirn began to worry about how well his lower back was going to hold up under the strain all of this bending. If he broke in half whilst under her hospitality then the Divine Light Tomas Dove would never believe that it had been accidental.
“Thank you. Please, continue.” The empress said with her best ambassadorial smile.
“Her Eminence, Adirn Deepgrave of the Onyx Empire, I send my congratulations on your ascension to the ruling seat. We all mourn the loss of Emperor Tyrranick, even though he was felled at our own hand for his treachery, but welcome the reign of a new empress who will surely lead the Onyx Empire onto better things until our next inevitable war.”
Adirn scowled at the insinuation, and then self-consciously resumed her smile. She didn’t want to give the Illuminators any more reason to accuse her of hostile intentions.
“Until such a time as you decide to exercise the evil that has been shown to linger within the borders of the empire since time immemorial, and launch another attack upon us with no warning but much predictability, I invite you to attend my court in Serenitas. It would truly be my honour to have the pleasure of your company such that we might better get to know each other before conflict tears us apart.”
Elucidator Heartswarmth cleared his throat gently.
“Naturally, as is tradition within the Onyx Empire, I expect that your reign is currently unstable. As a sign of respect for the efforts in which you must currently be engaged, fighting off coups from all sides and sleeping with one eye open for fear of assassins from within, I will expect you no sooner than two months from now. By then I sincerely hope that you will have seized sufficient power to take a short break from the empire without treasonous elements stealing your throne in your absence.”
There were empty rooms less hollow than Adirn’s smile. It would have been more convincing if someone had just written the word ‘smiling’ across her cheeks while she screamed.
“With the warmest regards and most welcoming wishes, Divine Light Thomas Dove.” Elucidator Heartswarmth rolled up the scroll and pushed it gently into the scroll case once more. “This copy of the message is yours to keep, your eminence, along with the scroll tube. May the many lessons inscribed on its circumference give you peace.” He held the tube out towards the empress.
Shivering with anger at the series of insults she had just been delivered, and still not entirely over the fact that her poorly hidden guards were still closing in and winking at each other, Adirn placed a hand on the tube. Heartswarmth did not let go.
“I apologise, your eminence, truly I do, but…” he deflated a little “I’m afraid I must ask whether you intend to beat me until dead with this scroll tube.”
“What?” Adirn growled through the tattered remnants of her smile and teeth that would not part for love nor money. She knew in her heart that this wasn’t how to speak diplomatically, but took solace that, at the very least, her nerves had been washed away by the flood of fury.
“It has happened to too many envoys in the past, so it is customary for us to make sure of the situation now.” He said, almost apologetically.
“I do not intend to beat you until dead. Or at all. Or to beat anybody in my empire. Despite what my predecessors enjoyed, and despite what Divine Light Thomas the bird believes to be sufficient grounds to send me a missive of insults, I am not a monster.”
The Illuminators stiffened.
“Divine Light Thomas Dove, your eminence.” Heartswarmth corrected softly, his own mask remaining intact.
Adirn bit at the inside of her lip, furious with herself for letting her temper get out of control.
“Divine Light Thomas Dove.” Adirn repeated with a dip of her head. “You may be pleased to pass on a message that I would be privileged to visit Serentias, and I thank him for the well-wishes. Please also tell him that my reforms have begun, with hanging, burning, drowning and ear-pushing all wholly outlawed within my empire.”
For the first time, Elucidator Heartswarmth couldn’t keep his reaction swallowed beneath a façade of professional calm. His eyebrows rose by barely a hair’s width, but it was noticeable enough.
“That’s a remarkably progressive move. Congratulations.” He said.
“Thank you. I would prefer not to be in a position where simply not murdering my own people is an achievement, but here we are.” Adirn said, making the statement before Illuminator Verity’s smart mouth could. Slowly she started to force calmness back over herself. Katherine’s perseverance in pushing her buttons was at least teaching her that valuable life skill.
“The hanging fields did seem remarkably sparse when we passed through.” Observed Illuminator Honourborn.
“So did the major drowning pools, although that could just have been by virtue of negatively buoyant victims.” Added Illuminator Summers. “We didn’t go fishing about in them to confirm that either way.
“They are empty, and empty they shall remain.” Confirmed the empress. “There will be no more needless cruelty tolerated within my empire.”
“With what shall these practices be replaced, then? Will you imprison your dissenters alongside the followers of Almighty Virum instead?” Asked Illuminator Verity, through a spiteful smirk. “You cannot think us to be so naïve that the Onyx Empire can simply become a just empire overnight. The infection runs deep through this society and this city.”
Adirn’s jaw clenched and she tried to resist making a fist. Quite aside from the political implications of such a move, the woman she wanted to punch was wearing a sword while she herself was unarmed.
“I have not remained ignorant to that fact. An attempt was made on my life only yesterday in response to my prohibition of flaying.” She instead defended.
“It does make one wonder what kind of empire needs to explicitly prohibit so many practices of that kind. How did you punish the assassin I wonder? Did you remain so virtuous with the threat of your own mortality so close?”
“I made her apologise to me.”
“Ha! An apology extracted alongside a few teeth in the torturer’s chamber, no doubt.” Laughed Illuminator Verity.
“That’s enough, Rachael.” Elucidator Heartswarmth chided, but Adirn’s temper cared not for his gentle reprimands.
“I did not torture her!” Shouted the empress. “She was held in place in the audience hall, where the attempt was made, until she apologised to me. Then, and only then, was she allowed to go free.”
Captain Toxis pulled an unconvinced face. Lacking the captain’s subtlety, Katherine tutted and huffed.
“Stop trying to deny it, girl. You devised and exercised a beautiful torture unheard of in the empire to date.” Said the Mistress of Records. With a face that tried to act like a thunderstorm, but achieved something closer to drizzle, Adirn burned a stare into Katherine.
“And there we have it, from her own Mistress of Records. The Denier she is.” Illuminator Verity said triumphantly, with smug smiles appearing on the faces of the other Illuminators and suppressed disappointment on the face of Elucidator Heartswarmth.
“I didn’t torture her.” Pleaded Adirn. “Not intentionally at least. I just had her held in place until she apologised to me. It was her own fault if she was so stubborn that she almost ruptured her own bladder rather than just saying sorry for throwing a knife at me!”
“And I suppose it’s the farmhand’s own fault if they’re so stubborn that they refuse to admit to withholding tax until they’ve had both ears irreversibly pushed into their heads.” Illuminator Verity sniped. Katherine nodded sincerely to the sentiment.
“It is an entirely different situation.” Adirn defended, weakly. “She walks free now and was allowed immediate access to a privy upon her apology.”
“You allowed an attempted murderer to walk free? That’s an interesting interpretation of justice. Almost like you condone killings, as long as they don’t happen to you personally.”
“No, I don’t, that’s not what it means.”
“Denying it again, Empress Adirn Deepgrave the Denier?”
“Rachael, you will show her dia-… her eminence, some respect.” Snapped Elucidator Heartswarmth, going so far as to frown at his colleague.
“Oh for goodness sakes! The Denier wasn’t even on the list of post-nominals I was forced to choose from, so please stop it. Not that I much prefer Oathbreaker.”
Elucidator Heartswarmth’s eyebrows rose at the notion.
“Not because of anything I’ve done, just because it was the least… grisly of all the titles that tradition has tried to foist upon me. Rest assured my oaths will be kept.” Explained the empress, trying to dig the hole away.
“Exactly what I’d expect to hear from an oathbreaker who was also a denier.” Chuckled Illuminator Verity.
“Rachael if you say another word I will have your rank struck from you.” Elucidator Heartswarmth interjected before Adirn could try to defend herself again. “We are here to parlay with the empress, not throw insults at her for the crimes of the empire she inherited. Kindly apologise.”
Illuminator Verity nodded to her Elucidator and then turned to Adirn.
“I apologise, your eminence.” She said. To her credit, the words had a ring of sincerity about them, but they didn’t wipe the smug grin off her face.
“Your eminence, I also apologise for the conduct of my Illuminators. This was not the Divine Light Thomas Dove’s intention.”
Adirn looked back flatly at the Elucidator. From what the missive had said, Tommy the bird’s attitude was far better aligned to the Illuminator’s than the Elucidator’s. No good would come of losing her temper again though, she reasoned.
“Think no more of it. I understand that there is a history of bad blood between our nations.” Adirn conceded, feeling yet more of that bad blood pumping whenever she looked at Rachael Verity. There was further motion behind the Illuminators, however, that made the empress pinch the bridge of her nose. “I would also like to apologise for the conduct of the Palace Guard, while we’re making amends for things beyond our control.”
All vampiric creeping had ceased. While this should have been a great relief to the empress, she felt no happiness at seeing the guards trying to cram themselves into the shadows cast by the Illuminators. From the proud expressions on their faces, and occasional thumbs-ups they sent towards Captain Toxis, they were under the illusion of being utterly undetectable and impeccably discreet.
“Fear not, your eminence. This is the most subtle they have been during any visit I have paid to your palace.” Elucidator Heartswarmth said, graciously. “One young man in the employ of the palace guard tried to hide himself in my scroll tube many years ago; thankfully he stopped when I asked politely, but that was only because he realised that he’d been noticed. He subsequently pretended to have been conducting routine scroll checks , if I recall.”
He and the empress both sighed, one wistful and the other pained.
“Well, if your official business is concluded then may I offer you food and drink, or a place to stay for the night? The hospitality of the Imperial Palace is yours to enjoy.” Offered Adirn, trying to regain some kind of common ground.
Dubious expressions came back her way.
“A kind offer, your eminence, but we would not presume to prey upon your resources. We have sustenance aplenty in our caravan and must make all haste back to Serenitas with your response.” Elucidator Heartswarmth said, with his deepest bow yet.
“As you wish. At least it’s not because you thought I was going to poison you or kidnap you or something.” Adirn said, desperately trying to find a bright side.
The delegation hesitated before smiling in response, and it told the empress everything she needed to know.
“Have you been reading ahead about the actions of your predecessors?” Asked Katherine from behind. “Emperor Hendrick Guestwrath is next in the succession after Harriet the Betrayer.”
Disappointed sighs from Elucidator Heartswarmth and chuckles from the Illuminators were the only response that the Mistress of Records would receive. The empress sagged.
“In that case, you may go with my assurances that I will not poison or kidnap any guests at my table, from within the empire or without. But I understand that my word may not count for much as yet.” Adirn straightened up again. “Know, though, that you are always welcome here.”
“Thank you, your eminence. Please, I hope that I did not offend you. I will admit that this notion of having an attempted murderer walking free has also weighed on my mind with regards to making dinner plans.” He said candidly. When he saw Adirn’s face scrunch up with irritation he quickly continued. “Regardless, I will ensure that the Divine Light Thomas Dove understands all that you convey. Would you be so kind as to ask our escort of palace guards to move back a little so that we may leave? I’d rather not bump into the chap behind me as I try to turn.”
“There’s no-one here.” Muttered the guard in question without moving his mouth, shrinking back a bit in an attempt to become more hidden. In fairness, he couldn’t have become any less hidden no matter what he did.
“Oh, yes of course. Captain Toxis?”
“Stand down.” He said simply.
In a manner that suggested they believed themselves to be melting out of the shadows and surprising everybody with their sudden presence, the team of guards sprang into the centre of the corridor with triumphant expressions. Try as she might, Adirn couldn’t remain angry with them; of all the delusions she’d encountered in the palace, this one seemed to be the least harmful so far.
“I have the first of the chairs, your eminence.” Lawrence called breathlessly from just behind Katherine. Red-faced and soaked with perspiration, he was dragging a solid onyx aurochs’ head seat towards the delegation.
“Ah, Lawrence. Perfect timing. Would you please show our guests back to the main entrance and ensure that they have anything they should need for the journey back to Serenitas? We have no more need to the seats.” Adirn asked the logistician. His eyes flashed with heartbreak for a moment as he released his grip on unfathomably heavy stone head. Then he dutifully nodded, gave up any hope of ever regaining his breath, and strode away down the corridor.
“Good day to you, your eminence.” Elucidator Heartswarmth said with a final bow. His Illuminators followed suit without wiping the smug grins off their faces.
“Safe travels.” Adirn bade.
Standing with what she hoped was regal grace, the empress watched as the delegation left behind the avatar of exhaustion that was poor Lawrence. She then curled up when the palace guards began their ‘discreet’ tailing of the group again.
“We really need to train them in what stealth actually means, captain.” Adirn said with a defeated sigh.
“I’m surprised you’re not asking for the practice of tailing our guests to cease entirely, your eminence.”
“While our guests deem it necessary to bring four armed guards to ask me if I’d like to visit them I’ll feel better for having my own soldiers around.” She said, with a disappointed pragmatism. “Gods, I’ve not felt like such a petulant schoolchild defending myself against spurious allegations since… well, actually I’ve felt like it almost constantly since taking the throne. But for different reasons.”
“You don’t need their approval; they are the enemy.” Katherine spat from behind.
“On the contrary, Katherine, I rather believe that I do need their approval. We are currently haemorrhaging our treasury to them in war reparations, they have routinely defeated our military and invaded our palace, and I can’t bring myself to say that they are wrong for any of it! We need to win their favour once and for all.”
“Utter trash!”
“Do you think they’ll put up with this forever? This endless provocation?” Adirn asked the old woman. “When an ant bites at your skin it can do no harm but you swat it none the less because it is irritating. And before you start, we are very much the ant in this analogy. Mark my words, the Onyx Empire will cease to exist the moment that the White Alliance’s patience runs out, and the only thing more perplexing than Count Rott’s military strategy of perfect predictability is the White Alliance’s policy of letting us keep doing it. I intend to see the sense of the matter before they do.”
Captain Toxis frowned and looked towards the floor.
“You’re still too soft, despite my tutelage. Once we’ve completed your education about the glory of your predecessors you’ll understand that the Onyx Empire has survived worse than this, and that we’ll engulf the White Alliance in our terrible embrace soon.” Katherine persisted.
“That’s not true though, is it?” Adirn asked wearily.
Katherine folded her arms defiantly.
“Yes it is. Because I said so.”
“The empress makes a good point.” Captain Toxis said, still addressing the floor. “The thought has crossed my mind many a time, but I didn’t care to give it much time or attention. It is only what I advised when Countess Lascera threw her blades at you, eminence; destroy the threat even though it has proved harmless this time.” His weathered and scarred face folded in a way that suggested disappointment. He’d not shown disappointment when relaying how previous emperors and empresses under his protection had been killed, nor in allowing Adirn to come so close to death at the hands of Countess Lascera. To see it surface now raised a concerned curiosity in the empress. “The day will come when another empire threatens the White Alliance, and when that happens they will cease to brush us away like a nuisance, and instead put us down for good so that they can focus on the real dangers.”
“Not you too, Keto. The girl has got into your head, made you soft as well.” Complained the Mistress of Records. “The Onyx Empire will never fall to the White Alliance and that’s that.”
Captain Toxis shrugged.
“We will accept the invitation to visit Thomas Dove. We will accept the invitation, and we will ask for his forgiveness, just like I made Countess Lascera ask for mine.” Adirn said.
“He’ll never grant it and we don’t need it. They are vermin to be crushed.” Katherine persisted.
“That’s exactly the sort of talk that means we do need it. We need it very much. Perhaps he will grant us his mercy and perhaps he won’t, but we must ask and we must demonstrate that I am true to my word by changing this empire for the better.”
“If you wish to reform the empire then you will require the support of the Dark Council, your eminence. Your decrees have not proved popular with them, their conduct over the last couple of days has made that clear, and you have but two months before you are to meet in Serenitas.” Captain Toxis observed, not appearing wholly convinced by the practicality of the exercise.
“They will do as they are commanded because I am their empress.” Adirn said, but none of them believed it. A passing priest of Almighty Virum, holding a set of ceremonial obsidian thumbscrews chuckled as he passed.
“The Grand Priestess also appears not to support your vision, your eminence.” Said Toxis, his eyes following the priest down the corridor. Adirn could hardly disagree.
“We need her as much as anyone else, I suppose.” Sighed the empress. “The Dark Council shall be convened in the morning, and we shall lay out plans for my reformation. In the meantime, we must pay our respects to Almighty Virum’s vessel in this world and learn exactly why she can’t get over all this robe nonsense.”
“Speak for yourself. I’m not walking all the way down those stairs to the Cathedral of the Deep just to say she’s right and walk all the way up again.” Katherine protested. “Or are you claiming this to also be more important than your lessons in the history of the empire, that you personally requested from me and have been inventively disrupting ever since?”
“I… they are incredibly important, but I cannot concentrate on them with this matter weighing over me. Allow me to clear my mind by discussing the Grand Priestess’ concerns with my reign, and we shall be able to continue our lessons uninterrupted. You have my word.”
“The word of Oathbreaker Adirn Deepgrave, is it?”
“It’s the only word I have.” Adirn replied, grateful that she at least wasn’t the Denier.
All was still in empress’ office, now that the aurochs’ head chair had been successfully wrestled out of its place. Had there been anyone to notice, the sound of soft footsteps would have been heard, seemingly echoing inside the walls, moving around the perimeter of the room until they reached the edge of the window. A slight grinding of stone blocks moving against one another would have been just about audible in the silence of the room, had anyone been lurking behind the curtains at the time. As it was, no-one noticed the eyes that scanned over Adirn’s note on the desk regarding the replacement of a door. A few moments later the stone blocks slid back into place, and footsteps inside the wall echoed away once again.
Nearly all of sites of cultural, historical or monetary value in the City of Torment were housed within the Imperial Palace. Partly, this was a monument to the collective arrogance of the emperors and empresses of the past, who had declared that they were the most important people in the empire and that their home was therefore the only reasonable place for anything else that mattered. At its apex, this attitude had briefly extended to requiring that all fertile farmland must be stored within the palace, since the production of food was of the utmost importance when surviving a White Alliance siege. Thankfully, it only lasted until the lack of sunlight became problematic for growth and a bedroom full of topsoil became bothersome to the emperor.
The density of important sites in the palace was also a practical consequence of being invaded and besieged every couple of years; nothing outside of the palace could be relied upon to withstand catapult bombardment for long enough to make it onto a map, let alone become a part of the cultural heritage of the empire. When the cost of bi-yearly rebuilds were factored in, the rule of threes meant that any kind of grand architecture outside of the palace walls was a no go.
The lack of piety among the destitute peasantry meant that tithes to Almighty Virum could never cover the cost of repeatedly rebuilding a whole cathedral, even a shabby one. So it was that the Cathedral of the Deep had been forced to eventually turn to the throne for help. After a few rulers laughed off the notion as foolhardy, since that money could be better spent by throwing hundreds to their deaths in another war against the White Alliance, Emperor Pious Cutpurse finally relented. Under his reign the Onyx Empire saw a devastating series of thefts from the treasuries of major noble houses, but the Imperial treasury also saw a coincidentally fortuitous increase in its income, thanks to the closely guarded secret methods of the emperor and his imperial thieves’ corp. With these deep coffers he had agreed to gift the church of Almighty Virum sufficient funds to allow the construction of a glorious cathedral in His name. The only condition was that it must sit deep underneath the Imperial Palace, such that any who looked up in prayer from its sacred alcoves and altars would also be reaching out to their god-emperor himself. Unfortunately for Pious Cutpurse, he never lived to see the completion of his great place of worship; he slipped on the top stair when visiting the site one morning and tumbled all the way down to his death. The hand-prints found on his back were deemed by the impoverished nobles to be inconsequential. The hastily drawn-up and shockingly generous will they’d found on his body when no-one else was looking, however, was of great consequence to them indeed.
Adirn read as much on a great series of engraved onyx tablets that lined the walls of the stairs down to the Cathedral of the Deep. She could perfectly well picture the body of a heavily robed and financially untrustworthy emperor bouncing and crunching down the slick and uneven steps that led to the Almighty Virum’s house of worship.
“What a way to go.” Said the empress, as her mind speculated on how Emperor Cutpurse’s fall might have sounded.
“It’s better than a lot of them got, your eminence.”
Adirn started as her foot slipped forwards from the dished cavity of one step, sending her collapsing downwards. If not for Captain Toxis’ viper-like reflexes in catching her, she might have followed the example of her ancient predecessor.
“Euggh!” She grunted. Every vein in her body pulsed with the rhythm of her thumping heart. “Thank you, captain.”
“It is my duty, your eminence. Threats to your life do not always come from a blade or mace.”
Adirn stared down the long, straight staircase. Although there were torches paired on either wall at intervals along the descent, they failed to fully lift the tarry blackness of the cavernous passageway. Where the extant light fell it picked out the softly pocked and uneven surface of carved walls, and the natural, irregular surface of the obsidian blocks used as stairs. The two rows of yellow torchlight tried to converge as they stretched away from the empress’ sight, but their glows were swallowed by the darkness before they could come together. Empreror Pious Cutpurse had buried Almighty Virum deep.
Further under the surface and the palace Adirn and Captain Toxis descended, and cooler the air grew. Wet, stony smells of the deep earth wrapped around their heads, and the walls started to glisten with rivulets of water; along jagged trajectories they explored various undulations and imperfections in the tunnel’s cave surface, while making their way down to slicken the steps.
“Why are there so many long staircases in this palace?” Adirn complained, bracing herself against the wall with one hand and walking as cautiously as she could. “If those priestesses and priests are carrying all of Almighty Virum’s gold from my palace down these steps all day then they must all have legs of steel.”
“It is true that only those initiates with strong legs manage to ascend the hierarchy of the church, eminence.”
“I shudder to think of what might happen if the Grand Priestess decided to kick someone. If she’s been training like this every day for what I assume to have been at least one hundred years of life, then she’ll be able to take down walls with just a nudge.”
Gradually, over the course of minutes, a glow became more apparent ahead of the descending pair, marking the foot of the stairs and the promise of a glorious reprieve for the empress’ weary legs. Glassy, deep purple flagstones reflected the light of torches, candles and chandeliers, staining their yellow-orange light indigo and dispersing it into a soft haze that picked out the edges of a natural, stony doorway.
“That must be the cathedral ahead. Do you think they have somewhere I can sit down without getting wet?” Adirn asked, looking down at the puddles of run-off pooling in the steps.
“I’m not theologian, eminence, but comfort does not seem to be something of concern to Almighty Virum.”
“I was worried that might be the case.”
When they finally reached the bottom of the staircase, mercifully by stepping rather than plummeting, all thoughts of seating left Adirn’s mind. Passing through the stone doorway unveiled to them the true majesty that was the Cathedral of the Deep.
Adirn had thought she’d climbed down a long way. She’d felt sure that the Cathedral of the Deep had been buried as far below the earth has Emperor Cutpurse could manage. Looking up into the seemingly endless expanse of the Cathedral disabused her of that idea immediately, because there was no way that she could have climbed as far down as the ceiling of the cathedral was high. The whole Imperial Palace could have fit into the subterranean cavern that served as the cathedral, and still there would have been room to spare. It was scarcely conceivable that the whole City of Torment could sit above such a vast cavity without it collapsing upon them.
Curving like the inside of a fishbowl, the onyx walls of the cave bloated outwards and upwards until they disappeared into blackness above. Piercing through the mysterious dark overhead, like fangs puncturing through skin, were stalactites of imperceptible origins, their twisted, wet points picked out by the light of a thousand of candles burning around the chamber. Great stony curtains of deposited limestone wavered down the walls and curled around enormous dripstone pillars. Many pillars had been carved with the horrifying, impossibly geometries of Almighty Virum’s likeness, while others had been left to look like melting towers underneath his gaze.
Standing there in the entryway, Adirn gaped with an open mouth and became acutely aware of how small she really was. The floor of the Cathedral sat on several levels, with obsidian tiled ramps or stairs leading from one to another to create a complex series of balconies, overlooks and platforms. Rows of pews were arranged on the lowest level, at the back of which the empress stood, and faced a broad platform that apparently served as a dais. Each of the pews was bookended with a standing candelabra of tarnished silver, and hanging above them from chains that disappeared into the abyss above were similarly dulled chandeliers, dripping wax slowly onto the flagstones beneath.
Silver and gold rails and barriers lined many of the cliff-edged outcrops, from which the wisdom and judgement of Almighty Virum were presumably preached. Behind many of them Adirn could see members of Virum’s clergy bustling here and there with the iconography they’d been transporting down from the palace itself.
“It’s… genuinely beautiful.” Said the empress, overawed not only by the cathedral itself but by one of her predecessors managing to create something that she didn’t hate.
“Almighty Virum cares not for beauty.” Echoed a familiar, judgemental voice. Every one of the curved walls reflected the sound down onto Adirn like a natural auditorium, making her feel the full weight of every syllable. “Virum’s halls are monuments to his terrible hatred and the suffering he offers to the White Alliance. His cathedral is a monument to our dominion, and his traditions are sacred rites of fealty to his power.”
Adirn scanned around for the source of the voice, but it seemed to be coming from all around her at the same time; t was as if the Cathedral of the Deep itself emitted the lecture at her from each and every scalloped surface. Captain Toxis tapped her on the shoulder and pointed to a balcony that protruded between two stone pillars. Each one was carved with half of Amighty Virum’s face, so that the central platform appeared to have split is head in two and pushed it apart. Adirn was sure that it was somehow symbolic, but what it could symbolise other than an intention to split their deity’s face in two was lost on her.
Standing on that balcony between the demi-faced pillars, in her robes of a hanged empire, was the Grand Priestess.
“Welcome to the seat of Almighty Virum’s power, your eminence.” She said with a sneer. “Have you come to beg forgiveness?”