>> Roof surf the rest of the journey with renewed confidence
Your brief flash of introspection is a concession to humility that you can't abide for long. Your whole being yearns for action, to make something happen, to make your mark on history as well as several smaller, more tangible marks on the bodywork of your car.
No more will you flap limply behind a pair of secateurs, buffeted by the rushing air and fighting to keep your place. The time has come to rise up, to make good on your previous intentions, and to roof surf like you've never roof surfed before. Such an assertion is completely correct; you've never roof surfed before this day, but you're sure it's an inherent skill that you must possess. Having learned so much about yourself and what's crammed into your towel, nothing could hope to stand in the way of achieving your dreams.
With a herculean effort you drag your body fully back onto the roof, and push up onto your hands and knees. Still gripping the secateurs for support, you get one spring-soled wellington onto the roof, and then the other, bouncing and bobbing with the wild reverberations of a car that's making great headway along a public footpath. As pristine hedgerows whip past on either side, being pruned by the car that's wider than the space between them, you relax your hands and push up to standing, ready to surf all the way to Gertie and Gertie Enterprises.
[Self-confidence check - Success]
The sounds of the world begin to decrease in volume. They fade like any doubts you could possibly have in your plans. Spring, rubber, leg, dress and towel act as one glorious chimera of high-fashion and stolen goods, your knees absorbing the sway of the vehicle while the springs deal with any vertical oscillations. There are a couple of near misses with low-hanging branches and a lady riding a horse, but those distractions cannot hope to penetrate the euphoric focus you've managed to achieve. You are like a professional athlete out at sea, cresting the peak of a mighty water swell, except that you're preparing to probably commit several crimes in the name of justice.
In what seems like no time at all, or possibly a couple of weeks depending on who you ask, you snap out of your travel-fugue state as Ashley performs an emergency stop in the car park of Gertie and Gertie Enterprises. Neatly you're flung forwards, unable to arrest your own momentum, and land back-first on the bonnet with a confident crunch.
You give Ashley a 'We're here, then' thumbs-up.
No more will you flap limply behind a pair of secateurs, buffeted by the rushing air and fighting to keep your place. The time has come to rise up, to make good on your previous intentions, and to roof surf like you've never roof surfed before. Such an assertion is completely correct; you've never roof surfed before this day, but you're sure it's an inherent skill that you must possess. Having learned so much about yourself and what's crammed into your towel, nothing could hope to stand in the way of achieving your dreams.
With a herculean effort you drag your body fully back onto the roof, and push up onto your hands and knees. Still gripping the secateurs for support, you get one spring-soled wellington onto the roof, and then the other, bouncing and bobbing with the wild reverberations of a car that's making great headway along a public footpath. As pristine hedgerows whip past on either side, being pruned by the car that's wider than the space between them, you relax your hands and push up to standing, ready to surf all the way to Gertie and Gertie Enterprises.
[Self-confidence check - Success]
The sounds of the world begin to decrease in volume. They fade like any doubts you could possibly have in your plans. Spring, rubber, leg, dress and towel act as one glorious chimera of high-fashion and stolen goods, your knees absorbing the sway of the vehicle while the springs deal with any vertical oscillations. There are a couple of near misses with low-hanging branches and a lady riding a horse, but those distractions cannot hope to penetrate the euphoric focus you've managed to achieve. You are like a professional athlete out at sea, cresting the peak of a mighty water swell, except that you're preparing to probably commit several crimes in the name of justice.
In what seems like no time at all, or possibly a couple of weeks depending on who you ask, you snap out of your travel-fugue state as Ashley performs an emergency stop in the car park of Gertie and Gertie Enterprises. Neatly you're flung forwards, unable to arrest your own momentum, and land back-first on the bonnet with a confident crunch.
You give Ashley a 'We're here, then' thumbs-up.
- Huddle with the team to agree on the plan
- Storm the front door, thresh the reception desk
- Look for a side entrance under an assumed identity
- Fetch garage-treasure from boot and improvise equipment