>> Head to neighbour's garage and loot indiscriminately
Veins flowing with vigour and enthusiasm for the case, and blood that doesn't have quite enough sugar in it for you to function properly, you head straight for the outdoors; haven of garages worldwide. Stopping only to pull on your unreasonably practical wellingtons, a task that you'e whittled down to an efficient five minutes, you dash out to the porch where Drainpipe Von Staffen is waiting.
"Straight to action, I see! How can I help?" it asks. In lieu of an answer you snatch your friend up into your arms and burst your way through the front door.
From your vantage point in the front garden you can see your garage, the haven of petrol cans, just where you left it next to the house. As tempting as it is to follow through on your own plan to fetch some petrol, you cannot help your own nature; instincts which have formed the foundation of your mind for tome immemorial, which is to say about two days, take over once again as you turn to face your neighbour's garage instead.
"Why should we be wasting our own precious petrol, which might be better used to fuel our chainsaw, all for the benefit of an ungrateful client?" You ask Drainpipe.
"Why, there's no good reason for that at all. We're out here saving the world from Gertie, and we're expected to foot the expenses bill for the pleasure! We oughtn't stand for it, friend."
"My thoughts exactly. It's high time that Mr and Mrs Goodwill nextdoor paid their fair share of my costs." You declare, vaulting the low wall that separates your driveways. Drainpipe tears up some of their begonias on the other side as it lands; a fitting punishment for the Goodwills' avarice.
A small, wooden side door stands in your path, acting tough and pretending that it can keep you out, but the door hasn't been made that can withstand your sense of entitlement and purpose. Using Drainpipe as a makeshift ram you crash its crowned head into the aged wooden panel, easily cracking a way through. With a few follow-up kicks the bulk of the door falls away from the frame.
"It was awfully careless of the Goodwills to leave their garage open like this," you say to Drainpipe, your voice full of neighbourly concern. "Anyone could get in. We'd better check that everything's alright."
Inviting yourself in, you climb through thr portal of shattered wood and cast an appraising eye around the garage. It's dark inside, probably a deliberate move by the spiteful and devil-may-care Goodwills to make your life even harder, but with some simple straining of the eyes you manage to see what's around.
Just as suspected, the Goodwills are harbouring years' worth of selfishly hoarded treasure. Wherever you look you see tools, equipment and sentimental items that could have helped in countless cases. The nerve of these people not to hand them over to you, and their arrogance in leaving only a smashed up door in the way, are baffling to you. In the centre of the garage is a car underneath some kind of tarpaulin cover.
"Looks like nothing has been taken." Drainpipe assesses. "In fact, it's so full tjat I'm struggling to picture what it would look like if someone had snuck in here to steal things."
"Don't worry, Drainpipe. I'll show you the kind of thing I was worried about, so that you can spot it in future." you kindly offer.
Resting Drainpipe in an observation position beside the door, you do your best impression of a burglar, at no benefit to yourself.
"We've already cased the joint, so now we need to get a storage solution for our illicit gains." You explain. With no time to deliberate, you tear the tarpaulin away from the car as a makeshift sack. It sounds like a wing mirror or two come away in the process, but burglars would never care about that so neither do you.
"Now we grab everything of value that we can see." You continue. It would be quite out of character for you to take things that don't belong to you, of course, but Drainpipe needs this education and you're duty bound to provide it.
It costs you several bumps to the head, knees and elbows, on account of the garage being dangerously dark, but eventually your wild hands manage to fill your tarp bag. With no space left to fill, except the enormous emotional void that your actions imply, you drag a pile of demonstrative loot back through the broken doorway.
"Oh, I almost forgot, there's normally some criminal damage too. Like this." You add, taking a brick from your loot and heave it through the unveiled car's windscreen. It sounds suitably expensive.
"A wonderful lesson, friend!" Cries Drainpipe, who sounds as out of breath as you are from all the looting.
You hop back over the wall to take stock of your gains, and Ashley emerges from your own garage with a can of petrol.
Items gained:
Claw hammer
Fox taxidermy
Plastic bag of miscellanous pills
Electric chainsaw
Nails (22)
Oil
Hard hat
Wing mirror
Photo albums
Accordion
£6000 in unmarked notes
Belt sander
"Straight to action, I see! How can I help?" it asks. In lieu of an answer you snatch your friend up into your arms and burst your way through the front door.
From your vantage point in the front garden you can see your garage, the haven of petrol cans, just where you left it next to the house. As tempting as it is to follow through on your own plan to fetch some petrol, you cannot help your own nature; instincts which have formed the foundation of your mind for tome immemorial, which is to say about two days, take over once again as you turn to face your neighbour's garage instead.
"Why should we be wasting our own precious petrol, which might be better used to fuel our chainsaw, all for the benefit of an ungrateful client?" You ask Drainpipe.
"Why, there's no good reason for that at all. We're out here saving the world from Gertie, and we're expected to foot the expenses bill for the pleasure! We oughtn't stand for it, friend."
"My thoughts exactly. It's high time that Mr and Mrs Goodwill nextdoor paid their fair share of my costs." You declare, vaulting the low wall that separates your driveways. Drainpipe tears up some of their begonias on the other side as it lands; a fitting punishment for the Goodwills' avarice.
A small, wooden side door stands in your path, acting tough and pretending that it can keep you out, but the door hasn't been made that can withstand your sense of entitlement and purpose. Using Drainpipe as a makeshift ram you crash its crowned head into the aged wooden panel, easily cracking a way through. With a few follow-up kicks the bulk of the door falls away from the frame.
"It was awfully careless of the Goodwills to leave their garage open like this," you say to Drainpipe, your voice full of neighbourly concern. "Anyone could get in. We'd better check that everything's alright."
Inviting yourself in, you climb through thr portal of shattered wood and cast an appraising eye around the garage. It's dark inside, probably a deliberate move by the spiteful and devil-may-care Goodwills to make your life even harder, but with some simple straining of the eyes you manage to see what's around.
Just as suspected, the Goodwills are harbouring years' worth of selfishly hoarded treasure. Wherever you look you see tools, equipment and sentimental items that could have helped in countless cases. The nerve of these people not to hand them over to you, and their arrogance in leaving only a smashed up door in the way, are baffling to you. In the centre of the garage is a car underneath some kind of tarpaulin cover.
"Looks like nothing has been taken." Drainpipe assesses. "In fact, it's so full tjat I'm struggling to picture what it would look like if someone had snuck in here to steal things."
"Don't worry, Drainpipe. I'll show you the kind of thing I was worried about, so that you can spot it in future." you kindly offer.
Resting Drainpipe in an observation position beside the door, you do your best impression of a burglar, at no benefit to yourself.
"We've already cased the joint, so now we need to get a storage solution for our illicit gains." You explain. With no time to deliberate, you tear the tarpaulin away from the car as a makeshift sack. It sounds like a wing mirror or two come away in the process, but burglars would never care about that so neither do you.
"Now we grab everything of value that we can see." You continue. It would be quite out of character for you to take things that don't belong to you, of course, but Drainpipe needs this education and you're duty bound to provide it.
It costs you several bumps to the head, knees and elbows, on account of the garage being dangerously dark, but eventually your wild hands manage to fill your tarp bag. With no space left to fill, except the enormous emotional void that your actions imply, you drag a pile of demonstrative loot back through the broken doorway.
"Oh, I almost forgot, there's normally some criminal damage too. Like this." You add, taking a brick from your loot and heave it through the unveiled car's windscreen. It sounds suitably expensive.
"A wonderful lesson, friend!" Cries Drainpipe, who sounds as out of breath as you are from all the looting.
You hop back over the wall to take stock of your gains, and Ashley emerges from your own garage with a can of petrol.
Items gained:
Claw hammer
Fox taxidermy
Plastic bag of miscellanous pills
Electric chainsaw
Nails (22)
Oil
Hard hat
Wing mirror
Photo albums
Accordion
£6000 in unmarked notes
Belt sander
- Stash loot in car, offer to drive
- Fill hard hat with oil and cash
- Warn Ashley about garage burglaries
- Stash loot in car, ask Ashley to drive